Addiction

I keep everything bottled up,
Don't know how to express how I feel.
So I harm myself thinking, that it's no big deal.
It's such a relief, no wait, it's an addiction.
Because speaking out is worse than causing infliction.

I don't know how to explain it,
But if you've never, then it's hard to comprehend.
But when you're all alone,
It's like the blade's your only friend.

Being alone is the worst,
'Cause you're so tempted to give in.
You're thinking you might burst,
If you don't tear a little at your skin.

It's more like a distraction,
Or something to control.
If you try to hold it off,
You feel emptier than whole.

I told you it's an addiction,
Whether you believe it or not.
It's not something fiction,
It helps me get rid of my thoughts.

There's so much more to it,
But I'm not even gonna try
'Cause even if I tell you,
You'll just keep asking me why.

"Why do you do it?
Why cause yourself this pain?"
It's 'cause I deserve it,
It's driving me insane.